Children's Kindergarten Concerns

A couple of the parents who responded to my email have reported that their almost kindergartener is behaving a little ‘off.’ I’m sharing my response because I’m guessing that they aren’t the only ones.

I believe that most children are made a little nervous by beginning kindergarten. Our whole culture makes kindergarten a big deal. It is a time when developmentally, children are beginning to understand that they will have a life separate from their families. Even if they have been to preschool, kindergarten is just different.

I suggest you be patient with your child’s regressions a little bit. They may just need to be reassured that they are still young enough to be taken care of. A little extra cuddling and ‘babying’ may be reassuring. Also, look for an opportunity to ask some questions, such as, "What are some things you are wondering about kindergarten?" and "What do you think it will be like there?" If your child has apprehensions, discuss them seriously; "What will you do if that happens?" "How can we find out if that will be true?" Be sure and let them know that Ms Morgan is looking forward to taking care of them and helping them enjoy kindergarten.

My experience has shown me that there are three big fears common to beginning kindergarteners: “Will I be the only one who can’t read?” “What if no one wants to play with me?” and “What if I need to use the bathroom?” These questions are usually answered the first week, though the ‘friends’ one is often ongoing – one of the things kindergarten is for is learning to negotiate play and social interaction.

As a parent myself I found it did no good to try and talk my daughter out of her fears. I think she felt that I just wasn’t taking her feelings seriously. I was a lot more reassuring to let her know I understood her feelings, that I believed she was smart and capable of figuring things out, but that I would be there to help her with whatever came up. Come to think of it, I am still doing this as she becomes an independent adult.

Please remember to use me as a resource for any questions you may have about your child’s’ adjustment to kindergarten. This is a part of my job I really enjoy.